So you want to find “the one,” eh? You’re sick and tired of all the dating apps and websites and trying to meet people in your kickball league? And how many awkward first dates can you go on to find a “normal” person? And what’s with all the fake personalities and flaky people who seem more interested in themselves and can’t be bothered to make a slight change in their schedule to, you know, go out with you.

If this describes the majority of your romantic life, I want you to open up your mind a little and start looking at things a little differently from now on.